And in one foul swoop I was facing my demons once more. They don’t whisper through the walls the way they used to. No, now they enjoy showing themselves in the shadows of my bedroom. My home is settling into rock bottom and I along with it. It’s cozy here, constant sweater weather. I never thought I’d get used to being so cold.
No, don’t ask me how I am. Don’t extend a loving hand out to me. I will cut it away from you and feast on the blood that remains in you, the blood I drained from my body. Pale faced and shaking. Anxious, panicked and paranoid. Pull me up from the soil an expose my roots, I am what contaminates you. Let the flood gates open, these leeches will not leave until I’m left limp.. Until my heart does not beat and my lungs take in breath no longer.
In one foul swoop you ended me. And in another I will end myself. Letting go of the ledge, or did my fingers finally just slip? Was I sand through the grates of time, or one of the greats who sifted through it, looking for gemstones? Was I worthy of your hourglass, or was I the reason you pushed it off your bed side table, fucking her to oblivion. And yes, I’m a little bitter. I stirred sugar into your lemonade with a sour tongue and burning eyes. Don’t mind the taste.. That’s just cyanide. I made it for her, but I ended up sipping the pitcher of poison with a posh bit lip. I never wanted it to end….
No, not like this.